Friday, May 2, 2014

The flats and the straights

If you've ever had a kid or known a kid, you know that thing they do at some point, and I'm convinced every kid has a thing or two in this category, and you notice that thing and say "how cute, you kid doing your cute thing, aren't you a quirky little human" and then the kid soon becomes devoted to the thing and the thing directly erodes in cuteness.

Think back for me. Yeah, that thing.

Okay, so let's talk the geometry of apples.

Trouble exists in a precedent established years ago by one of the predecessor children to the current quirk adherent: our kids won't bite apples. Apples are for eating in slices. Okay, fine. Whatever.

That would be not so awful, except a certain boy-child has decided that he can only eat the straight-line slices. What's a straight line, you ask? It's not a flat.

Flats are inedible.


You understand, of course, that any time you slice an apple, a good percentage of edible content is shaped suspiciously like a flat. You understand, of course, that those pieces are entirely unacceptable.

I need you to tell me about some of the crazy you put up with in the name of love.

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