Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Why I am not a food blogger

Banana Chocolate Chocolate-Chip Mini-Muffins

overripe bananas
1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
½ cup whole wheat flour
1 tsp salt
1 ½ baking powder
¾ cup sugar
2 eggs
vanilla extract
an adaptive spirit

Walk into an otherwise remarkably clean kitchen to find three partly peeled bananas and a fourth peel, stripped of its actual banana and segmented into a dozen long strings, all arranged artfully across the floor. Call a certain banana-loving three-year-old into the room and plumb his knowledge of the composition. Conclude that the three opened fruits should be converted into banana bread. Preheat the oven to 350.

Pull out all the (other) ingredients. Notice a mostly empty bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips (maybe 4 oz.). Add those to ingredients on counter. Notice a similarly mostly empty bag of milk chocolate chips. Repeat. Conclude that it’s not really so many chocolate chips, because grabby hands just reduced their quantity by half to the cry of naked M&Ms!

Decide to swap out sugar with brown sugar because your newly self-appointed sous-chef is less likely to spill it everywhere for funsies. Decide to reduce white flour by ¼ cup in order to add ¼ cup cocoa powder, because chocolate chips, rare though they now may be, go even better in chocolate batter. Watch wide-eyed as sous chef bypasses measuring spoons in favor of pouring an unknown generous quantity of cocoa powder directly into batter. Mix remainder of dry ingredients, then wet, then taste for curiosity regarding the effects of cocoa abuse. Reach for additional sweetener.

Add last bit of raw honey from jar to batter. Use three measuring spoons, one spatula and four fingers to apply to batter. Use one potato masher, one pastry cutter and one fork to mash until smooth. Use all the measuring cups and all the kitchen’s spoons, because he says so and he’s fast and because you’re standing back a little because you kinda don’t want to touch him right now at this exact moment.

Remember the bricks of cream cheese in the basement fridge that nobody will eat because it totally has a different texture than the tubs of cream cheese and you know that’s true and think that a little creamy tangy-ness might be just the perfect final ingredient to cut through the dense chocolatey-ness. Add 1/3 of a brick, using three knives and the other potato masher. And you didn’t even know you had two potato mashers. And now you wonder why you have two potato mashers.

Wonder if some good can come from this disaster, and decide that with enough batter now for 1 ½ but not two whole loaves of banana bread, maybe mini muffins are a good idea instead and they can be delivered to the daycare as a thank-you to the teachers who have been facing some weird administrative turbulence.

Bake for 12-15 minutes until, you know, not oozy in the middle.

Realize the deliciousness that is these mini muffins. Watch your family eat too many muffins to rightfully deliver any longer as any kind of positive gesture. Shrug. Eat the rest of them, saving just two one, just temporarily, for one quick picture for the blog.

Add tub cream cheese and honey to the grocery list.

Cross off bananas. Let's maybe not buy those for a little while.

Although this is not my sewing blog, I'm linking up to A Quilter's Table
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