Monday, October 17, 2011

Under my blankets

Since yesterday morning I've been not feeling great -- not anything of note, just a sound-and-fury-signifying-nothing kind of illness -- but furious enough that I slept much of yesterday. I was cold, and couldn't warm up unless my three littles sat on me, and so they did. Straight across me as I lay on the couch, they indulged in far more TV than appropriate just so I could keep them close as heat sources. 

 Image via weathergirlshop

This is not a perfect plan. Human blankets:
  • do not hold still to keep your toes covered just so
  • will drop food crumbs on you
  • will jump with no warning and your sore and tired body because The Electric Company theme song is just that exciting
  • might poke you in the face just as you've fallen asleep because of a deep-seated excitement for possessing the vocabulary words "eye," "nose" and (other) "eye"
  • are prone to digging in toes or elbows for primacy of their own comfort, not yours
But! Human blankets will:
  • spontaneously kiss you and whisper sweet nothings like I love you more than bugs, Mama!
  • force-feed share with you their beverages, only occasionally by sticking their sippy cup straws up your nose while you sleep
  • drool/zerbert your back and explain it's to wash the yucky feelings away
  • let you sleep all afternoon, as long as you awaken briefly every 27 minutes to retrieve a new show from On-Demand
It's not a perfect system, I admit. But it's not awful.


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