G took one look at our doctor and began screaming. Our doctor looked at his med student and cracked, "here comes our highest decibal family!"
It might not have been a crack. It may have been a warning. We do have a family history of screaming at our medical professionals.
We went into the Purple Room and G continued to scream. E began to scream. L sat on the floor and colored, happy not to have to share the crayons.
G screamed some more and our doctor poked around his ears. E's preemptive screams turned to reactive ones as our doctor tried to look in her ears. L spun on the swivel stool.
We survived the next five minutes and our doctor made his pronouncements.
"E: it's hay fever. Allegra twice a day when you need it, only when you really need it.
"G: it's a virus but your ears are fine. You're due for shots but come back in a week when the fever is gone. You're fine.
"L: you're the mellow one? Who would have figured. L the Mellow. I like it." And he walked out the door.
I calmed E down and G calmed, too, once I had his pants back on. We were all mostly mellow again when the door popped open. Our doctor said, "hey! I found a princess duck! Up high!" and tossed it between the girls and closed the door again.
I opened the door and ushered my crew to the reception area and pulled out my wallet to pay the copay and in that moment, L the Mellow realized that her sister had just caught the duck; that is, had just been given a new toy, and she hadn't.
L the Mellow fell to the floor, not just screaming, but screaming and stomping and flailing and wall-kicking and carpet punching and shrieking and the innocent old lady receptionist could only say, "oh, my! What happened?"
And I had to explain to her that our doctor, whose father first employed her centuries ago when he founded the practice, had Dared Disturb the Universe and tossed one toy between two girls for purposes unknown. Mischief? Revenge?
The nurses who were plugging their ears practically fell over each other to run to the supply room and find another duck. It took a few minutes to calm L the Mellow enough to get her attention to show her that another duck had been procured; and not just any duck, but a tutu fairy duck.
firefighter duck, L the Mellow wailed.
At least we're memorable.