(We both drink our coffee black.)
Me: "I bought it for the big playdate yesterday when I thought we might have four other adults here. Then it turned out we only had one."
Him: "Hey! Yeah, so it turns out that you would have known that if we checked the voicemail."
Me: "I know! I found that out when I called to make sure they were okay."
So here's the problem. I hate talking on the phone and he hates it even more. We seem to pretend that the appliance doesn't exist, or maybe we really forget that it does. I don't know. We care so little that we still had an answering machine until about three months ago, and we only ditched it for voicemail when it was more expensive to get internet and cable without voicemail than with it.
The answering machine, for all its throwback 20th century ways, had a blinky light. Voicemail does not. And true confession: in days of yore I might have seen the blinky light and chosen to ignore it. Now I don't even remember that there's something to ignore.
Me: "So maybe you should teach me how to check the voicemail again."
Him: "Really, Robin? It's not hard."
Me: "Well, then why don't you do it?"
Him (incredulous): "Because I hate the phone!"
Him: "But you should probably know how to check it."
Me: "So tell me the number, already."
Him: "You know the passcode. It's my PIN from my old bank in Albany."
Me: "That part is fine. I would have guessed that's the number even if you didn't tell me."
Him (eyes rolling): "Well, the rest of it is easy. You know we have FIOS, right?"
Me: "We do? I thought we had Comcast."
Him: "We ditched Comcast."
Him: "We have FIOS. So this is easy. It's 1-888-2-FIOS-VM.*"
[Ed. note: that number might be entirely wrong. I've already forgotten what he said but it was something like that, so for the sake of the story let's say it looks good.]
Me: "See? That's not easy. I would have guessed it's an 800."
Him: "No, those are all gone. It's an 888, like American Idol."
Me: "I thought American Idol was 866?"
Him: "Oh! Yeah, maybe."
Me: "I'm never going to remember this. That phone has speed dial. Can't you just program in the number for me?"
Him: "What?! I don't know how to program that phone."
Anyway, I'm really good at checking my email.
An invitation two ways (on repeat because I don't want to miss anybody):
-If you enjoy my blog (and since you're here, may I presume that you do?), would you consider 'liking' it on Facebook?
-If you already landed here via my personal Facebook page, would you follow the link above and like the blog's page? I'm going to discontinue the syndication feed on my personal page at the end of this week, but you can already find it on the FB blog page.
This blog's Facebook page is new and not very developed yet, but I have a lot of ideas for continuing the conversations that begin in the comments here in greater depth over there. I'd love to have you join us.
Muchas gracias, friends.
(This message will self-destruct at the end of the week.)