Saturday, October 29, 2011

Chunky fondue and other nonsense

With the lovely husband still out of town, G had decided to up the ante by coming down with a hacking case of croup. So when he had a ton of trouble falling asleep last night, I took pity on him and went to sleep with him in my own bed.

That was a sucker's move.

He was fussy and had trouble settling and I felt tortured, my body being completely ready to sleep and his thrashing against me seemingly endlessly. When he finally relaxed I fell asleep deeply into dreamland. I don't remember the beginning of the dream but I remember when it changed -- someone was pouring cheese fondue into my hand. My hand wasn't a bowl; didn't they know that? Why didn't they know that? And who made this? Lazy slacker. It's so chunky. Don't they know how important it is to stir constantly?

That was no fondue, my friends. That was my open hand, fallen in my sleep loosely against my side, and my son vomiting into it.


Sheets stripped, pajamas changed, venue changed, I got G asleep in his own bed. He finally slept like what I may humbly offer up as the stupidest simile ever: a baby. Both of our regular bed pillows were...unpalatable and in need of an emergency visit to the washing machine, so it being the middle of the night I settled for the only other thing quickly and quietly available -- the body pillow I hadn't used since the end of my last pregnancy.

One girl had a bad dream and migrated into our room, then the other didn't even bother to fake a bad dream as she joined us. With one long pillow to share for the three of us, they came closer and closer to me. They each fused themselves eventually to one of my collar bones and there I lay pinned by my own daughters turned human goiters, until they each awoke and commented with wonder on the beautiful new pillow. Why can't I use it every day? they wondered.

And then it snowed all day, which is positively ridiculous for October in Maryland. The leaves on the trees in our yard haven't even begun changing colors yet, which means we watched the snow fall against our fully green maples. All day long. It was wet and the ground was too warm and not much stuck, but my kiddos were as excited as I was annoyed by this weather phenomenon, and so eventually we went outside and did this:
Three kids into boots, two kids into snow pants (poor G, who woke up perfectly healthy, didn't get any because HELLO IT'S OCTOBER, I haven't done our winter inventory yet and the girls were squeezed into their old pairs), three kids into coats and hats and mittens and then me, and have I mentioned that I do not like snow? Or cold? Or stupid winter IN OCTOBER IN MARYLAND?

But my children, who are entitled to their happy childhoods and wide-eyed wonder, do not share my viewpoint:

and I try not to spill my crankiness out on them, which is why, dear readers, I am ever thankful for you.
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