Do you know what happens when you take two energetic girls to an empty mattress store?
You might not know. You might not know, for example, that all the twin mattresses are pushed up against each other in a row, forming a 50' bed. You might not know that bored/playful salesman will encourage your girls to jump on the bed, and then one will take to rolling all the way across, then the other will follow, then one will roll right over her sister to journey back to the other edge, and so they will go back and forth, until one yells, whoa! my tummy feels funny! and you have to suggest that maybe they should jump down.
They only just regain their sense of stability when Entertained Salesman says, "you can run a maze around all these beds if you want!" One will yell, okay!! and dash off and one will yell, they're not beds! They're mattresses!! and take off just the same.
The other salesman will ask if you want to pay for delivery and you say, no, we only live a mile from here, let's just tie it on the roof. Entertained Salesman will offer, "hey girls, what if I stick the bed in the back of the car and you all can up top!" and one girl will reply, weren't you listening? It's not a bed, it's a mattress! but more troublingly, the other girl will reply, okay! and then you will have to manage her great sadness when you explain that we don't ride on roof decks in this family.
So anyway, this happened:
And just like that, we're a crib-free household.
Crazypants, isn't it?