Over there, underwear

Again, I am remiss in directing you to my other Pulitzer-worthy nonsense. May I make amends now, and entertain myself and probably nobody else and describe them Friends-style:

-The one where I join a club. But we didn't hold hands.

-The one where I find a pep talk in my pants. True story, kids. Results in two weeks.

I know, I just made your weekend. You can thank me later.