Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Conditionally (tick tock)

Styrofoam pellets roll like tumbleweeds across our waiting game.

If a ponytail equals one stretchy rubber band + one fuzzy, then I have 12 elastics to remove from a certain someone’s head this evening.

If a warning administered before school that she can take her tights off when she’s hot is fine as long as she doesn’t give me a hard time about putting them back on at pick-up time was successful, then I’ll have accomplished something very important with my day.

If she ever uses the verb ‘sweat’ in the conventional manner instead of her subject/object role reversal manner, I’ll be able to stop laughing at the phrase she utters consisting of but they’re sweating me!

If she ever asks why I can’t help laughing at that phrase, then I’ll have to age-appropriately idiomize that in the lexicon of my high school years, someone ‘sweating me’ had inappropriate sexual feelings in my direction.

If I can ever figure out how she makes that close-mouthed sound that's eerily accurate for a duck call, then perhaps I can find the patience for her every-eight-minute display of such strange talent during our twice-daily 35 minute commute.

If I can convince her to go back to wearing footie pajamas, then I'll have so many fewer socks to post-laundry pair. And if I can convince her to wear the same underpants morning and night, then in that act alone I'll save several loads of laundry a month.

All in the minutae of waiting...

Today, I was told, was a six-ponytail day. I was also reminded that you can't fight the calendar. These are very real problems, and will successfully keep me very really busy. Pin It

4 comments:

randomblogette said...

I love it! My 4 year old daughter always used to change her underpants when she got ready for bed too. She now has this horrible habit of changing or taking her clothes off whenever she is wet. Even a little dribble of water makes her take her pants off and go find new ones. We always have tons of her laundry to do! It's crazy! I just love kids!

cndymkr / jean said...

Have the tags in their clothes started to bother them yet? My son use to freak out and insisted he had to wear his clothes inside out. Fortunately he outgrew this and has moved onto big baggy pants.

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

I think living in your home and being a part of your family must be the MOST fun thing in the world.

Can we move in?

This Heavenly Life said...

Those are a LOT of conditions...

We'd add: If the apple peel is successfully snuck past the 4 year old's careful watch while she's distracted with a video, the day is won. And if I can manage not to laugh when she says 'But if I tell you to get me a drink, you just say OK, and do it!', then I deserve an award. One with lots of chocolate coating.