Me: E, do you need to use the potty before we go?
E: No, thank you.
Ms. T: Are you sure?
E: Yes. I’m sure. I’m really, really sure.
Me: Well then, sweetie, why are you standing like that? Do you want to just sit for a minute and see if anything can come out?
E: I DON’T NEED TO USE THE POTTY!
Ms. T: Well, then, whatcha doin’, silly?
E: My underpants were pushed up inside my puh-china. I was just seeing if they’re ready to come out.
Ms. T: [clearly can’t help herself] And…are they ready to come out?
Ms. T: [should really know better] Why are they there, anyway?
E: In my puh-china?
Ms. T: [face composure is difficult] Yes…
E: I put them there!
Ms. T: [turns away spasmodically giggling]
Me: [picking up the slack for entertainment value only] Why did you put them there, love?
E: Well! I like to get tucked in at naptime because I get cold when I sleep. So I thought my puh-china might get cold, too. So I tucked it in!
Ms. T: [losing it, pretends to need something on the other side of the doorway]
Me: Is it still sleeping?
E: No. My puh-china’s not sleeping anymore but it’s still cold. But I did a lot of running so it’s almost warm. It’s warm! I untuck you now, puh-china! [tugs twice, wiggles once]
Me: Are we ready to go home now?
E: Yes! No, wait. Not yet! Underpants, say bye-bye to puh-china. Puh-china, say bye-bye to underpants.
‘Bye, underpants! Thanks for snuggling!’
Me: Now are we ready?
Me: While we’re saying goodbye, do you want to say bye to Ms. T?
E: Ms. T!! Bye-bye!!
Ms. T: [can’t speak] [waves]