Why? Because I still live it. Isn't that amazing? Life moves steadily forwards but it also cycles upon itself. How do you measure a year? In progress? In growth? In experiences gained and memories formed? In moments lost forever?
In all of the above. In so many ways have we grown -- particularly the girls, of course. Yet we are who we are, innate. And I reflect on the year and I reflect on my family and I think about E, the girl who can be fearless or indescribably, resolutely unwilling to face fear. There was a crest of time in the middle of this year, as there was in the one before, when the elder daughter enjoyed baths. But these days, the younger bathes alone. The elder is back in my shower.
A year comes and goes and somehow we're in the very same place. Is all of everything there is just folds upon folds upon folds of itself?
Life is funny. Ours is chaotic but I wouldn't trade the juggle of our careers or the energy of our high-strung kids or the simultaneity of addressing the needs of both those things for ordinary order. And isn't it funny that this week I found myself showering my daughter again? Maybe the calendar gods and the indoor plumbing gods sit on my daughter's shoulders in place of cliched angel and devil apparitions.
It really is one of my very favorite of my posts, and I could have written it today instead of a year ago. So I invite you to revisit the past that is also my present. Bookends on a year: That shower-fresh feeling.
To another year of cosmic questions and all our loves in squeezing distance. In case I don't tell you tomorrow, happy 2010.