Friday, August 14, 2009

Dee.Vee.Uhhs.

Every morning L manages to wake up before the rest of us, before the sun, before the worm put on this Earth to nourish the early bird, before rational thought brews its first pot of coffee.

(See my tag line? Seriously, kids. We set it. You know. For just in case. It's a built-in redundancy, I assure you.)

We say hi to her, we dress her, we let her putter around the house while the rest of us tend to acknowledging the day's existence and the hygiene- and wardrobe-related activities related to that exercise.

And may I take a moment for a tangent: some moments in noteverstill history are still woefully undocumented because I haven't always blogged. But did I ever tell you why we started the potty-training process with E? Because she kept grabbing my underpants out of the laundry pile and pulling them up over her diaper. I think it was because of the shiny fabric, the vibrant colors, but I just didn't need my Second Skin Satins getting such a public viewing. We bought the kid her own unders and she wore them over diapers for a good six months before she started losing the diaper layer of tushie-wardrobing.

We got the girls ready for school and I drove them and dropped them off. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until we got inside. Then L ran into her class room and yelled Look ME!!!! as she pulled up her dress and flashed all her friends and three teachers.

Under her dress, over her bloomers, the sneaky thing had worn a pair of her big sister's bright pink underpants to school. Her friends giggled and the teachers giggled but E, who had followed us into her class, screamed and burst into angry tears. Those are MY UNDERS! Why is she wearing MY UNDERS! Mama! Get my unders off of her!

I don't have a sister, myself. So when Ms. W spoke, I recognized an Unseen Truth that I was going to have to Confront and Acknowledge:

"Oh, E, you know when you have a little sister it means a whole lifetime of her trying to take your clothes."

This only made E cry harder, and I felt a shudder of cringing and resignation at the additional burden of mediation I now needed to recognize in my future.

But if there's something you can rely on with toddlers, it's the regular pooping. So very soon Ms. W took L for a diaper change and she retrieved the contraband undergarments. E was informed of the confiscation. And all was a little better with the world.

But this story would not be complete without a True Confession: because L has a habit of wandering through the house in the mornings as the rest of us go about our routines, I don't know where L found the unders in question.

I don't know if they were clean or dirty. Pin It