Friday, June 12, 2009

Sweet dreams, labia

As we were saying goodnight to one of the girls’ favorite teachers yesterday I noticed that E was standing a little awkwardly.

Me: E, do you need to use the potty before we go?

E: No, thank you.

Ms. T: Are you sure?

E: Yes. I’m sure. I’m really, really sure.

Me: Well then, sweetie, why are you standing like that? Do you want to just sit for a minute and see if anything can come out?

E: I DON’T NEED TO USE THE POTTY!

Ms. T: Well, then, whatcha doin’, silly?

E: My underpants were pushed up inside my puh-china. I was just seeing if they’re ready to come out.

Me: [shrugs]

Ms. T: [clearly can’t help herself] And…are they ready to come out?

E: Almost!!

Ms. T: [should really know better] Why are they there, anyway?

E: In my puh-china?

Ms. T: [face composure is difficult] Yes…

E: I put them there!

Ms. T: [turns away spasmodically giggling]

Me: [picking up the slack for entertainment value only] Why did you put them there, love?

E: Well! I like to get tucked in at naptime because I get cold when I sleep. So I thought my puh-china might get cold, too. So I tucked it in!

Ms. T: [losing it, pretends to need something on the other side of the doorway]

Me: Is it still sleeping?

E: No. My puh-china’s not sleeping anymore but it’s still cold. But I did a lot of running so it’s almost warm. It’s warm! I untuck you now, puh-china! [tugs twice, wiggles once]

Me: Are we ready to go home now?

E: Yes! No, wait. Not yet! Underpants, say bye-bye to puh-china. Puh-china, say bye-bye to underpants.
‘Bye, puh-china!’
‘Bye, underpants! Thanks for snuggling!’


Me: Now are we ready?

E: Yes!

Me: While we’re saying goodbye, do you want to say bye to Ms. T?

E: Ms. T!! Bye-bye!!

Ms. T: [can’t speak] [waves]

And…
SCENE. Pin It

3 comments:

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

NO WAY. For real? I cannot even think of anything coherent to say in response, I am laughing so hard.

Priceless.

Golden.

One for the baby book, to be sure.

(still laughing hysterically)

Nonnash said...

I shouldn't have left early! Classic.

aunt angie said...

I love this so much! Thank you so much for sharing it!