Monday, June 23, 2008

Boys and Girls Really ARE Different

I get inside the house to be greeted with:
Mama, Daddy said I should ask you please can you make me a EGG for DINNER!!
Sure, I tell her, but I just need to pee first.
Mama, I need to go pee-pee RIGHT NOW!!
Hmm. Of course she does. E is turning into quite the bathroom-line-cutter, and I didn't even get a frontsies-backsies agreement out of her. So I lift the lid of the toilet and place her mini-seat on the toilet seat. Loud splutters of indignation erupt behind me.
No, Mommy, the seat doesn't go there! She lifts the lid and tries to place her mini-seat on the rim of the toilet. I stop her just before it falls in the bowl. I try to explain to her that it doesn't fit there, and that we need to lower the seat. She freaks out at me.
NO!! I WANT TO PEE AT THIS PART! She stands on her tiptoes, facing the bowl, and does a crude pelvic-thrusting imitation of a lewd teenage BOY. I WANT TO PEE STANDING UP!
I'm trying so hard not to laugh in her (sincere) (sweet) (ridiculous) face. I ask her who she knows that pees like that.
Um, me? she fakes confidence in her answer, giggling. I doubt it, I told her, and asked again.
SMA, MOMMY, SMA PEES LIKE THIS AND I WANT TO PEE LIKE HIM RIGHT NOW STANDING UP!
I ask her where her penis is for peeing standing up.
Um, I don't know, she answers, giggling.
I tell her that people who don't have penises have to pee sitting down. Would she like to sit on the potty now?
Mommy, I don't have to pee. I just want to wash my hands. Pin It

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I can only laugh at our E! This version of using the facilities brings back some (not so) fond memories of early trips along the new interstate highways, where pit stops were, indeed, pits, and those without (also known as females) had to find some way to straddle the hole in the floor. My dad would go off to the Men's Room, leaving my mom to cope with two daughters in the Women's Room, as she helped to hold up skirts and slips, and then my dad would question what took so long, when we finally reappeared. E doesn't know what she is missing!
Love, Grams